Three Dirty Dwarves
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🙂 6.6/10
(Sega Saturn - US, Beat'em Up)
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Developed_By:
Appaloosa Interactive
Published_By:
Sega
Released On:
15 Oct 1996
Three Dirty Dwarves , released for the Sega Saturn in September 1996, tells the story of genetically altered "super kids" who play Dungeons & Dragons . When they create a portal to their fantasy world, their "alter-egos", three dirty dwarves, enter our world and aim to rescue them from an evil Army Base.
The game follows the dwarves as they rampage through the local sporting goods store to gather weapons and then set out to rescue the kids. However, the portal also brings in various fantasy enemies that must be defeated along the way.
Gameplay revolves around switching between each dwarf, using their unique special attacks like baseball bats, bowling pins, and shotguns. The DwarfMorph attack allows all three dwarves to combine forces for a powerful attack.
Sega Region Code:
14002 (United States)
UPC-A:
606901140021 (United States)
ASIN:
B00002STUR (United States)
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Number of Players Supported:
1-3 Players
Miscellaneous Attributes:
6-player Adapter
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Manual
Game Guide
Extracted from the original game manual
Set within a top-secret military facility, this fantasy adventure game casts you as a player guiding three dwarven avatars through a parallel world populated by dragons and hostile creatures. Your goal is to help these characters survive the dangerous environment and locate a dimensional gate so they can return to this reality and rescue four imprisoned child geniuses.
Story
The Children's Plea
Our parents were test tubes. Our nursery was a genetics lab. A top secret military installation somewhere in upstate New York is our only home. We are four children being held against our will. Our names are Laura, Gregory, Billy, and Kyle.
Surrounded by guards, experimental weapons, and a hostile environment, we have no hope of escaping by ourselves. But we have a plan.
We combined Einstein's theory of relativity, superstring theory, and the laws of chance to create a game. This game begins in a parallel world, populated by dragons and swarming with nasties. There is a gate between that world and ours.
We have avatars in that world, three Dwarves named Greg, Taconk, and Corthag. They are our champions. With skill, endurance, and a lot of luck, the Dwarves will find the gateway to this world, and come for us. We have faith that this will happen.
It will not be easy. Nasties and dragons are bound to come through the gate with them. The Dwarves will be alone in a strange world armed only with what weapons they can find. The humans they meet will probably not give them a warm reception.
So the Dwarves need your help. We will try to give you all the information you need. This is a game to you, but it could mean freedom for us. Thank you.
Laura
The Science of the Gate
*by HARRIMAN FOSTER, Ph.D.*
Some of you have expressed concerns about the "impossibility" of a gateway, or portal, leading from another dimension to this one. It's not impossible at all. Let me explain.
IMAGINARY DIMENSIONS
First of all, the other dimension described in this game is "imaginary." It doesn't exist. But non-existence only makes inter-dimensional travel that much easier.
You see, when a dimension is a figment of the imagination, the normal rules of physics no longer apply. And keep in mind that the normal rules of physics are outmoded anyway.
THE INTELLIGENCE FACTOR
Experts agree that the two main intelligence indicators are:
1. The ability to learn from experience.
2. The ability to adapt to one's environment.
The four children who "created" these Dwarves (and their environment) are, by all accounts, exceptionally intelligent - their IQs are off the charts.
Being geniuses, they must know that actual experience is a better teacher than an imaginary one. It's also easier to adapt to a literal environment than a virtual one.
These children are also perfectionists. Even in their play, they strive for perfection. Since it is more perfect to exist than not to exist, the inter-dimensional gate must therefore be "real."
By locating the Dwarves outside their own minds - that is, in an imaginary world - they have created a space/time paradox that must be resolved. The Dwarves, in essence, are stray thoughts that must eventually return to their source, i.e. the children's brains. Much as an endorphin must leap the synapse from one nerve cell to another, so must the Dwarves jump through the gate to this world.
THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE
The so-called "uncertainty principle" also plays a role. As Heisenberg theorized, even the simplest observation of a phenomenon will change the phenomenon. Since these Dwarves are imaginary, they cannot be observed. Any attempt to do so will create a space-time anomaly - a paradox if you will - which can only be resolved by making the Dwarves “real,” that is, beings that can be physically observed. That means bringing them into this world - of observable phenomena - where they can go through many changes.
THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY
Furthermore, Albert Einstein proved that the only absolute in the universe is the speed of light. Space and time are relative. So if we can imagine Dwarves existing in another space and time, then they must be “real,” relatively speaking. Therefore, whatever we imagine them doing will have at least as much fixed reality as, say, the price of gasoline. Perhaps even more reality!
BLACK HOLE
Theoretically, they could even have traveled through a black hole to arrive here. After all, being fictitious, they wouldn't have to worry about their atoms being crushed into a subatomic paste.
IN CONCLUSION
Attempts to come up with a universal field theory (a theory that explains everything) have so far been unsuccessful. Until such a theory can be found, the three dirty Dwarves can travel pretty much anywhere they want.
Yes, in the light of new physics, the idea of smelly beings from other worlds landing here, and reeking havoc, is not only possible, but - in some alternate universes anyway - unavoidable. Hope this clears things up!
WST
WEAPONS SYSTEMS TECHNOLOGY
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
WST History
1946
In 1946, a hush-hush companion organization known as A.S.S. (Association of Secret Services) was created by a special act of Congress. Congress didn't even know it! It had been led to believe it was voting on a bill to subsidize cement production in rural areas.
1947
The first covert operation of A.S.S., code-named Operation Clean Sweep, was so classified that even the agents involved weren't told what it was. To this day, nobody is sure what exactly Operation Clean Sweep was meant to accomplish, if it succeeded, or even
How to Play
GETTING STARTED
1. Set up the Sega Saturn system following the instructions in its hardware manual. Plug in one or two controllers. Note that up to three players can play by connecting a Sega 6-Player Multi-Player Adapter and a third controller.
2. Insert the game CD, and press Power to turn the system ON. Make sure the power is OFF before inserting or removing a CD.
3. You'll see a series of logos, followed by the title screen. Wait a few moments to watch the game's animated story (press Start to re-display the title screen).
4. Press Start at the title screen to begin. If you've just finished setting options, use the D-Pad to highlight GAME START and press Start.
SETTING OPTIONS BEFORE STARTING
At the title screen, press the D-Pad down to highlight OPTIONS and press Start or Button C to open the menu.
•
Select an option: D-Pad up/down.
•
Change a setting: D-Pad left/right.
•
Exit: Highlight MAIN MENU and press Start or Button C.
LEVELS
Select a level to play. After clearing a level, you can replay it by remaining in the same difficulty mode. For example, if you clear five levels in EASY mode, you can replay them as long as you stay in EASY mode. If you restart the game in NORMAL or HARD mode, you must clear the levels again.
PLAYERS
Select 1, 2, or 3, depending on how many controllers are connected.
MODE
Set the game difficulty.
•
EASY (7 Levels): Levels end when all three Dwarves are knocked silly. Collect red Power Skulls at the top of the screen to perform Power Attacks, Brawls, and Morph Dwarfs.
•
NORMAL (15 Levels): Levels end when all three Dwarves get bashed and dizzy. Special moves use more Power Skulls than in EASY mode.
•
HARD (15 Levels): Levels end when all Dwarves get bashed, or when you lose all white Health Skulls (one disappears each time a Dwarf gets bashed). Special moves require even more Power Skulls. More nasties all 'round: obstacles are tougher, skulls are harder to get, and Orcs gang up faster and meaner.
MUSIC
Set music ON or OFF. Sound effects remain ON.
OUTPUT MODE
Select STEREO or MONO depending on your sound system.
MISSION BRIEFINGS
STREETS OF BRONX
You need quick reactions and a droll sense of humor when battling the iron-fisted, slobbering Orcs. Look out for flying appliances. The mean streets were never meaner.
PIT BULLY
Bully has the personality of a fire hydrant, and twice the charm. Here's the gig: take out his hell-hounds, then bust up the big bonehead himself.
HILLS OF BRONX
Is that a rat on your face, or are you happy to see me?
GYMHOUSE
Knock down a house-full of muscleheads without getting cleaned and jerked. Forecast for today is cloudy with barbell-sized hail.
BRONX BY DAY
They call him Frazetta - a four-fisted bully who loves cholesterol and hates you. Some advice: forego the pizza or you could wind up as the special topping.
MAN OF A THOUSAND SWORDS
This former sales manager from Jersey opted for early retirement to pursue his hobby. It involves tall buildings and flying swords. Oh, and he doesn't dicker.
RIKER'S ISLAND
New York's famous prison is tailor-made for people who want to get out of the city but can't take that commute to Connecticut. Play “What's My Crime” with inmates while they get cute with a fork.
TACONIC PARKWAY
Time to thumb your way out of this burg. No whining about pedestrian rights here, pal. When you see your ride, take it.
LASER RESEARCH
In invade WST and meat the Cleaver Kids. June babies are so cute. You can keep them occupied for hours playing “Catch the Hatchet.”
BARNEY'S MACHINES
The final showdown. You can make it, if you don't get stomped into steak tartare by a can opener on steroids. Hey, it could happen.
Controls
L-SHIFT
switch Dwarves (1 tap) or Brawl (5 quick taps)
R-SHIFT
switch Dwarves (1 tap) or Brawl (5 quick taps)
BUTTON X
Power Attack 1
BUTTON Y
Power Attack 2
BUTTON Z
Morph Dwarf
BUTTON C
Jump
START
Pause/continue
BUTTON B
Short-range attack
D-PAD
move Dwarf (any direction) or revive Dwarf (rapid left/right)
BUTTON A
Long-range attack
Items & Weapons
HEALTH SKULLS
In all modes, levels end when all three Dwarves are knocked cold. On HARD mode, the level also ends when you lose all seven whirling white Health Skulls; one disappears whenever a Dwarf takes a hit, and losing all of them sends you back to the beginning of the level.
POWER SKULLS
Red Power Skulls fuel Power Attacks, Brawls, and Morph Dwarfs, with a maximum capacity of seven; they are collected by capturing them from bashed Orcs or containers, sometimes appearing with a game die.
POWER ATTACKS
Each Dwarf has a pair of Power Attacks for solo combat, requiring 1 or 2 Power Skulls respectively to execute via buttons X and Y.
Tips & Maps
MORPH DWARF
The boys turn into a big ugly gang of one when all three Dwarves are conscious and Morph Dwarf is activated. It is a timed attack, so plan these attacks to get the most mileage.
BRAWL
Brawl is perfect for scouring an area of Orcs, though the attacks are timed and all Dwarves must be conscious. It begins when the boys start slapping each other around until they get mad, accidentally creaming Orcs who are just innocent bystanders.
BOUNCING BED
Some Orc is bent on triple dwarficide by boulder drop, so use the mattress to survive. Pressing the D-Pad left or right moves the mattress, not the bouncing baby.
GARBAGE HILLS
Die, Mr. Badwrench - and take Skiploder Face with ya!
HOUSE OF FIRE
Ride the wrecking ball to demolish the apartment and put a damper on the scaly thermal blowhard.
THE STADIUM
RBI your team around the bases without getting beaten to a pulp, as Orc outfielders catch the ball with their faces.
TROLLEY RIDE
Score some Skulls on these tricky tracks. Dirty Dwarves ride free.
Enemies & Characters
Trapper
Also known as Steely Don or Trapper John, he is called the Daniel Boone of Orcs.
Tinman
Also known as Metallicur or Robo Orc, this large metal robot has a creamy Orc at its center.
Kissing Orc
You should be afraid of this character.
Generic Orc
Also known as Troglodyte, Big Goon, or Torc, these odiferous creatures come in many shapes and sizes and adapt quickly to any new environment.
Dragon
Also known as Nefarious Nagtalon, Thermazor, or Puff, it is a typical large smoky reptile.
Briggs, Waggon
A Colonel and the Commander-in-Chief of Weapons System Technology on special assignment, whose secret career involves covert operations worldwide.
Barney
A young soldier serving as the special aide-adjutant-assistant to Colonel Waggon Briggs, known for strictly following orders.
Laura
Code named Laura, she is a creative individual and former storyteller now deployed in weapons development at WST.
Corthag
One of the three fierce Dwarves the player can become.
Greg
One of the three fierce Dwarves the player can become.
Taconic
One of the three fierce Dwarves the player can become.
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